I have been giving some thoughts to what to wear on stage when I finally do go. Do I want to be all pimped out like Kid Rock with fur coats and what not, or punkish with no shirt on and just cut the hell out my chest with a razor blade? Clearly the way you look can help you connect with the crowd, unless your name is Susan Boyle. (never been kissed, yeah right, we did it in the back of my car in 93, but that’s another story)
But while researching this I think I have come across some things that I simply could not wear on stage. Lets have at look:
Louvered Sunglasses
While it is true that Kanye West did wear these on stage, I am of the firm belief, that as a guitarist you should refrain from wearing these on stage. There may come a moment where you may have to look at your guitar, and imagine your shock when you only see your 1st, 3rd, and 5th string. Traumatizing. Unless you are PUSA.
The “Big Daddy” Four Finger Ring
The need to let the world know that you keep your pimp hand strong and your ho’s working long can be overwhelming for anyone. I often times find myself surrounded at social gatherings explaining the importance of this prophetic pimpology. But alas, wearing your Big Daddy four finger ring on stage can prove challenging. It can be done, but all your guitar playing must stay within four frets of each other. Very limiting indeed.
The Beer Hat
Ok, I don’t even know why this is on this list. As a guitarist I say this is a most handy invention. Being able to drink from two beers at the same time while shredding away is AWESOME. What is that you say? Oh, well I guess it could eventually lead to singing Sweet Home Alabama while extremely intoxicated. Ok, we’ll keep it in the list for now.
The Shocker Foam Finger
I am absolutely positive I don’t have to explain the awesomeness of shocker shaped foam fingers. But I really don’t know how long one could play a D# minor chord before the crowd gets tired. Maybe they will be entranced by the wonderful symbol of our times, maybe not.
That’s all I can think of right off the top of my head. Can you guys think of any others?
April 26th, 2009 at 10:22 pm
I have to say, I absolutely hate those *sunglasses* if you can call them that. The white ones are the worst. I never understood it when Kanye wore them. haha And Ha! @ the shocker foam fingers.
April 27th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
Kanye + Those Glasses = Super Douchebag. Nuff said.
May 4th, 2009 at 10:47 am
Hi, interesting post. I have been wondering about this topic,so thanks for sharing. I’ll definitely be coming back to your blog.